


Love and Nightmares Triptych: Agape

by A Magiluna Stormwriter (ariestess)



Series: Love and Nightmares Triptych [2]
Category: Babylon 5
Genre: Collection: Purimgifts Day 2, Community: purimgifts, F/F
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-02-23
Updated: 2010-02-23
Packaged: 2017-10-07 12:13:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 430
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/65047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ariestess/pseuds/A%20Magiluna%20Stormwriter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Susan Ivanova has been plagued her entire life by nightmares and issues with love.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Love and Nightmares Triptych: Agape

**Author's Note:**

  * For [bessemerprocess](https://archiveofourown.org/users/bessemerprocess/gifts).



> Date Written: 22 February 2010  
> Word Count: 420  
> Spoilers: Just consider Susan and Talia's storylines fair game, okay?
> 
> Disclaimer: "Babylon 5," the characters and situations depicted are the property of J. Michael Straczynski, Babylonian Productions, Warner Brothers, etc. They are borrowed without permission, but without the intent of infringement. This story is in no way affiliated with "Babylon 5," J. Michael Straczynski, the production companies, or any representatives of the actors.
> 
> Author's Notes: I have this not-so-secret love affair with Susan Ivanova. It's been slowly building up over the years. A fic here, a fic there, and then suddenly, this muse was firmly entrenched in my brain. And she's not exactly... _polite_ when she wants to be the focus of attention. And with Susan, Talia must come along. Of course. They're steeped in angst, which is so apropos, and yet they have a playful tenderness that I really like.
> 
> Love is a recurring theme for Susan, which is why I chose to incorporate that into this series of stories. Actually, it was the nightmares that started it, but because they're tied into her relationship with her mother, I snapped up the idea of intertwining them with her issues of love. It was an interesting set up to write, particularly in using a different POV for each story. I kind of like how it turned out.
> 
> Background information on the Greek meanings of love came from [here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Love#Ancient_Greek), [here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Greek_words_for_love), and [here](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Four_Loves). Slightly more specific information can be found on [storge](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Storge), [agape](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agap%C4%93), and [eros](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Eros_%28love%29).
> 
> Dedication: my muses, as always…
> 
> Beta: cuspofqueens and shatterpath
> 
> Archiving: Only on AO3 &amp; ShatterStorm Productions. All others MUST request permission first.

For the longest time, your nightmares revolved around your mother: the Psi Corps, the Sleepers, the depression, and eventually the suicide that finally took her from you. The worst of them have involved Psi Corps discovering your own latent abilities. After those horrifying experiences, you normally go several days without sleep, existing on artificial means of staying awake.

When Ganya died, those terrifying emotions you'd felt were added to your repertoire of nightmares. Joining Earthforce both alleviated and exacerbated the night terrors. You never told anyone about them, refusing to appear weak in front of another person.

Babylon 5 brought you a whole new spectrum of trials and tribulations to face, which you have willingly taken on. For every outburst of complaints, for every issue that you must face, you are invigorated and thrilled to beat the challenge. The busier you are, the better: you end up so exhausted, you sleep without dreaming.

For a time, your dreams were filled with something else. Some_one _else dominated your dreams, if you're completely honest with yourself. Talia Winters began her career on Babylon 5 as the ultimate thorn in your side. The vast majority of that was her allegiance to Psi Corps, there's no way you can deny that. But it was more than that, wasn't it? Some small part of you wanted to trust her, even if you couldn't -- _wouldn't_ \-- admit it for quite some time.

And just when the nightmares seemed to be gone for good, when you got something new, and fragile, and wonderful in your life, it all disappeared in an instant. You had only the one night with her before Lyta's damned search for Control took Talia from you forever.

That's when the nightmares started all over again; only this time, Talia's face replaced your mother's as often as your own did. The realistic nightmares, the ones that brought back images and memories of your strange relationship with her, twisting and perverting what your eidetic memory couldn't get rid of. Only now you had no one to talk to about them. Yes, John would probably listen to you, but this wasn't exactly the kind of thing you wanted to admit to your CO. The only recourse you had was working yourself into exhaustion or drinking yourself into oblivion.

There was something special about Talia that you'd never felt before, something you've no desire to search for in another person.

You vowed never to love again, needing to protect the fragile heart beating in your chest.

 

[](http://tinypic.com)  
Unknown original origin as it was saved to my hard drive


End file.
